For the first time in my life I have broken a bone. Well, to be more precise 2 bones. Both of them in my right ankle. The Tibia and Fibula to be precise. And yes it did bloody hurt.
Wednesday lunchtime I was off to Tesco for a butty. Walked out the back door of our office block and stepped onto a ramp that the workmen refurbishing floors in the block had put up to the two steps at the back door so they could wheel stuff in. Touble was on Wednesday it was pissing down and the ramp was made of metal. My foot slid down the ramp until it hit the tarmac at the bottom at which point my foot stopped. Unfortunately the rest of me didn't and I heard a most unwanted "CRACK" followed by the sound of a grown man (i.e. me) screaming in pain.
Two fellas who had been behind me had the unenviable task of picking me up and helping me to the foyer. An ambulance was called and I was whisked away to hospital. I now have the utmost respect for A&E staff in our hospitals having seen some of the arseholes they have to put up with. While I was feeling very sorry for myself in a cubicle some drunken tit who should have been looking out for his equally drunk father insisted on coming over and telling me how lucky I was, how many bones he had broken and how he had once had 132 stitches put in a wound received in a gang fight in Manchester when he was 8 (I didn't tink you could fit 132 stitches onto an 8 year old).
Anyway 3 days on a hospital ward with various loonies and drama queens was more than enough. I was operated on and now have a right ankle that looks like the result of a fevered mind let loose with a Meccano set. I have a six week sick note and a license to do nothing else except sit on my butt watching TV and eating chocolate.
Wish me luck...
3 days ago